Everything is Star Wars

BB8 with lightsaber by MJNL

Happy New Year’s Eve!

Seeing as how it’s the last day of the year, I thought I would send you into 2016 with a little gift. Have you noticed something other-worldly at the grocery store?  Do the cars at the dealerships appear to be from a galaxy far-far away?  Can you take two steps out your door without running into something related to The Force Awakens?

Can you?

Really?

Lest we forget the time that everything was Star Wars, I have written you a song. Please sing it to the tune of “Everything is Awesome.”

Ahem…

Everything is Star Wars
Everything is cool with a marketing team
Everything is Star Wars
In this product-placement dream

Everything is better
With block letters

Side by side
You and I
Gonna shop forever

Leia/Han forever!

It’s not lame
I like Luke
You like BB
They’re both in the pharmacy

Everything is Star Wars
Even shampoo and collard greens
Everything is Star Wars
In a lightsaber-colored sheen

3–
2–
1–

Have you heard the news?
Everyone is LARPin’
Life is good,
Cuz everything is Star Wars

Lost my job, but there’s a new opportunity
More free time for my Star Wars community

Rockin’ a cheese grater
Shaped like D’Vader

Dipped my body in Force-whipped frosting
What flavor, exactly, is Force-whipped frosting?

Smellin’ like the Dark Side
It’s a marketing landslide

Stepped in Payless
Got R2 shoes
It’s Star Wars in Wal*Mart
Star Wars in Macadoo’s

Everything is better
With block letters

Side by side
You and I
Gonna shop forever

Chewie/Maz forever!

It’s not lame
I like Rey
You like Finn
Both can be found commercially

Everything is Star Wars
Even make up ‘n’ Fiat twenty-sixteens
Everything is Star Wars
Nothin’s safe, not even coffee cream

Oranges, bouncy springs
We just named two Star Wars things
A Nobel prize, a piece of string
You know what’s Star Wars?
Everything!

Soup with noodles, little doodles
A book with pop-ups by the oodles

Brand new pants, an ’83 vest
Star Wars items are the best!

Trees, frogs, clogs: they’re Star Wars
Rocks, clocks and socks: they’re Star Wars
Figs and jigs and twigs: that’s Star Wars
Everything you see or think or say is Star Wars

Everything is Star Wars
Like it’s all from Naboo or Tatooine
Everything is Star Wars
In late twenty-fifteen

 

Please sing responsibly.

See you in the new year!

~Marina

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